


So Long and Lost

by StarryNox



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: By that I mean I have it planned but who knows, F/M, I'll probably write a full-length fic of this one day, It's a fun time. And by that I mean it's painful., Robin wakes up the second time with amnesia except she remembers everything pre-Grima's interference, this is also on my rp blog it was actually written for my rp blog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 17:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7278136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNox/pseuds/StarryNox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Um...” She swallows, fear returning in full force. “I was...I was wondering.” Hesitantly, she lifts her head, never meeting his gaze but finding a point just below it. “Who am I to you?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Long and Lost

Footsteps falter, and her courage along with them. It’s so much easier to say that she’ll simply knock on the Exalt’s door when she isn’t standing in front of it, but she can’t quite bring herself to turn back, either. Not when light still radiates from beneath the wooden door and she’s spent the last **several hours** working up the nerve to come by, for though he _claims_ that she’s always welcome, Ruya has learned not to trust those kinds of words from pale lips--though Exalt Chrom has been far kinder than she expected, there are still lines she doesn’t dare cross.

But even so, curiosity has begun to get the best of her, for the fleeting, disjointed memories she’s gained leave her with _far more questions than answers_ , and her most recent one most of all. A fortifying breath before knuckles rap against the door. She’d be **lying** if she said that a small part of her hopes that the Exalt is simply asleep at his desk, but when his voice floats through, inviting her in, she forces herself to push the door open and step in.

He’s surrounded by paperwork--evidently taking advantage of the fact that few would be looking for him in the dead of night--but as he catches sight of her he all but _leaps_ from his chair, papers falling to the floor in a jumbled heap. Apologies spill forth from her lips as he curses, bending down to try and clear up the mess, and she kneels to help him. 

“Thanks.” He smiles, warmly, and while there are times when Ruya wonders how **genuine** such a smile is, he continues too quickly for her to puzzle over it now. “Though, uh, I didn’t expect to see you so late. Is something wrong?” Ruya glances down at her feet, her fingers threading together as she stalls.

“Um...” She swallows, fear returning in full force. “I was...I was wondering.” Hesitantly, she lifts her head, never meeting his gaze but finding a point just below it. “Who am I to you?”

Memories flash through her mind, of fond words written in the sand, the rumble of his chest when they talk late into the night, the swell of an emotion she can’t _quite_ name as she watches him cradle a blue-haired infant.

She’s hardly noticed her gaze dropping to her interlaced fingers once more, but she forces herself to watch him, now that the silence left in the wake of her silence has begun to grow strained. There’s something… _troubled_ in his gaze (though she’s not sure how she can identify the emotions on his features better than the ones she feels herself), and his lips press together once, twice, and then a sigh escapes them. Hands rake through his hair as he avoids her gaze now, and finally he relaxes.

“Take a seat.” She blinks, for that isn’t exactly the answer she expected, but she does so, regardless, watching silently as Chrom lowers himself back into a seating position with a slowness that seems at odds with his age. But even then, it’s a little while before he speaks. 

“You…” A weak smile pulls at his lips. “You’re a lot of things to me. Do you remember, when we met?” A shake of her head—there are still many things she doesn’t know, and this is one of them. “Lissa, Frederick and I found you asleep in a field…much like we did this time around.” He chuckles, as if enjoying a private joke. “We were going to escort you to town, in the hopes that we’d be able to find someone who knew you. Instead, we ended up in a fight against bandits, and you charged in to help us without knowing what was going on.” 

“How…reckless of me.” _And how reckless of you, to trust me_. But Chrom only shakes his head.

“I’m grateful for it, no matter what instinct pushed you to join us that day. We won the battle with hardly more than a few scrapes, and you became the tactician of the Shepherds, after that.” She nods. This is history she knows, though she has little memory of it. She recalls time spent bent over maps, shifting wooden pieces round and round as she created and rejected battle plans within the same breath, but then…she did that before, too. With her mother. _Her mother_. She pushes thought of the woman who raised her from her mind, for dwelling on it for too long never ends well. 

“We had faith in each other from the beginning—faith that we’d have each other’s backs in battle. You always said that fighting alongside each other has a funny way of bringing people together—of creating invisible ties between us.” Her brow furrows.

“It’s strange…I don’t recall ever saying such a thing, but it feels familiar all the same.” A soft hum. That’s a mystery for another day, too. “So?” He glances over at her. “What kind of ties did we make?” This time, the answer is immediate.

“Strong ones—we were close friends. Best friends, even.” He smiles. “Or at least, I’d say you’re my best friend.” He pauses, frowning. “Were, maybe.” She send him a questioning glance, but he’s already continuing forward. “We swore to be two halves of a greater whole, you know. That if one of us stumbled, the other would be right there to help pull us up. Though I’m afraid you were usually the one pulling me forward.”

“Chrom…” There’s a part of her that craves to reach out and rest a hand on top of his, and for once she follows it. “I don’t remember much of…whatever it was that happened, but I know one thing.” Lips tug upwards in a smile. “The me that you knew…I don’t know why, but she was grateful for you.” And that gratitude was the reason she stayed now—or at least, it was her first reason.

“I should be the one thanking you.” He flips his hand so he can grasp hers, his finger idly tracing the mark still faintly visible against her skin. “You saw me at my worst, and yet…” He chuckles. “You still put your faith in me. You _believed_ in me when even I didn’t believe in myself, and when I was with you…” He trails off, cheeks turning a shade of red just barely visible in the candlelight. “It was as if…as if you were the wind at my back and the sword at my side.” The wistful expression on his features disappears for a moment, and she does her best not to squirm from the intensity of his gaze.

“Robin— _Ruya_.” His voice cracks, his grip on her hand growing tighter for reasons Ruya doesn’t understand. “When I said we swore to be two halves of a greater whole…I meant that in more ways than one. You…” His smile flickers. “You were… _are_ my best friend, and…you’re my wife.”

She supposes, in hindsight, she shouldn’t be surprised, for some of what she remembers certainly points in that direction. And yet…she _is_ , for though she’s seen first-hand what kind of man he is, she’s feared for weeks now that the memories she holds point to a situation she expected as much as she dreaded. 

“This…this doesn’t have to change anything between us.” The words come out so quickly that she almost misses them, particularly when mixed with the roughness of his tone. “Believe me when I say that having you hear is more than I’ve dreamed of.” 

“Is that why you never said anything?” Her voice sounds so small, and she certainly feels that way now. Her response is a nod. “And what of Lucina and Morgan?” She thinks of the two children who wear wider smiles than she ever has, the two children who match their father in appearance aside from the color of their skin which, she was told, came from their mother. Their _mother_.

“Our children.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I asked them not to mention it—I didn’t want you to feel forced into a role you don’t remember signing up for.” She nods in return, still turning over the idea of having two children in her mind.

“I’m sorry.” Chrom’s head whips back towards her, his blue eyes widening, but now it is she who is clinging to his hand as if it’s the most precious thing in the world. “I’m sorry. I…” Her words die in her throat, and in truth she isn’t sure if they would’ve been coherent had they made it past her lips. 

“Don’t apologize.” Yet the soft look—one she’s seen before, now that she thinks of it, but has never recognized—makes her feel all the more guilty. “As I said—I’m just glad to have you back. Even if you never remember me. Remember _us_.” 

“But I do,” she protests, hardly thinking about the words before they leave her mouth. “Little things, at least. Things that make me wonder now if I never forgot how I felt, or if I’m just falling for you all over again.” She freezes, feeling blood rush to her cheeks, for she hadn’t meant to say such a thing. 

“You’re…what?” He stares at her, slack-jawed, and if it weren’t for the fact that she wishes she could bury her face into her hands, she might’ve laughed. But the words hang between them now, and there’s a part of her that feels relief. Relief that she can think he looks adorable right now and not feel guilty about having such thoughts. Relief that the strange mixture of emotions she’s finally beginning to untangle aren’t ones that’ll only end in tragedy.

“I…I don’t know if I’ll ever remember everything,” she admits. “And I can’t promise you that I’ll…that _we_ can go back to the way things were in your memories, but…if it’s all right with you, I’d like to try.” She smiles, hesitantly. “You said it once, didn’t you? That even if I never recover my memories, that doesn’t stop me from making new ones.” He chuckles—weakly, but it’s still there, and it causes her smile to widen and her confidence to rise. 

Another quick squeeze of his hand, and then she’s leaning forward, suddenly thankful for their seated position leveling their heights, and her lips brush lightly against his for the briefest of moments—an action that has her pulling away quickly, unable to meet his gaze. 

“Thank you for being honest with me, Chrom. And…thank you for being patient with me.” She glances back up at him for the briefest of moments. “And…I’m sorry, that you’ll have to keep being patient with me, as I…adjust to all of this.” 

“I don’t mind.” She feels his forehead rest against hers, and she closes her eyes, leaning into his touch. “I’d wait for you forever, if I had to.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for an ask prompt on my tumblr rp blog, but it was also something that I've been meaning to write for a while. The title is inspired by "Long & Lost" by Florence + the Machine, and even though I put this note at the end I do recommend you at least look at the lyrics.
> 
> Feedback would be much appreciated!
> 
> Nox


End file.
